How to be who you want to be

When you get in a funk it can be hard to get out. Especially in a world with so many distractions that help us procrastinate even the smallest of tasks we want to accomplish. For the past couple of months I have found myself at a stalemate, I haven't been moving backwards but I haven't been moving forward either. I've been stuck in the same place.

My goal for the past two years has been to start my own business and when I moved to Budapest I would finally put that plan into action, or so I thought. After moving from London it was almost like taking a deep breath and coming back down to earth. I realised I didn't have to stress anymore, I didn't have to rush anywhere and I didn't have to be overly concerned about the numbers on my bank account. As time went on my mindset stayed in this chill state where I wasn't concerned about moving forward because I was comfortable with where I was.

I didn't want to put myself out there with my business ideas and I didn't want to take any risks that might fail. I stopped writing my blog and pretty much went MIA.

After going out with some new friends to lots of new places around Budapest my spark for writing reignited and I wrote the post 'One week of cafes in Budapest'. I got so many messages and emails about this post that it made me want to keep writing and it started the ball rolling again for my business ideas as well. The only problem was my brain was working producing ideas but physically I wasn't doing anything, I still didn't want to push myself to take any risks. I would much rather scroll through social media and watch stupid videos than actually get anything done.

What can you do when you're scared or insecure about taking risks and putting yourself out there?

One of the best things I did was tell people about what I wanted to do. I started to make myself accountable because the next time I see that person they'll ask how my business is going and I don't want to be embarrassed and tell them "well actually I haven't got any further than the last time we spoke but I'm working on it...". They're not going to take my business seriously if I have no progression and nothing to show for it.

Another approach that I tried (and am still working on) is working on myself. I'm never going to get where I want to be if I'm not the person that I want to be. A quote that I heard at a talk the other day that stuck with me was

One of the greatest challenges in life is designing yourself
— Random speaker at event

I don't think you will ever feel secure putting yourself out there if you're not happy with the person that you are. Maybe you have fitness goals that you want to reach, you want to learn a new language or be more educated in certain areas. I encourage everyone in every stage of life to take the time to write down who you want to be and who you see yourself as and if that's not the person starting back at you in the mirror, get up off your butt and change it.

The most important part of this step is acknowledgment. It's so hard to admit to yourself that you aren't where you want to be. I have been in the denial stage for a long time and am only starting to realise that I could do and want to do so much more. I have also found that opening up to someone can help a lot as well. We tend to bottle things up and not let people in when we're unhappy when really we should be doing the opposite. Hearing things out loud can make the world of difference.

Finding who you are in life is such an important thing but you're never going to achieve that if you aren't looking. I now have my business because I decided that I wanted it.

I'm finally starting to see the next move to get out of my stalemate.

If you have read this far thank you and I hope to hear if this motivated you or provoked any emotions or thoughts! I would love to know! Comment below or drop me an email.

My last message for this post is stay true to yourself and don’t settle for something that you hate doing.

Jordan x

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